Free Premarital Workbook

Tend: Before the Wedding

Five honest conversations about money, family, faith, conflict, and intimacy — that most couples never have before they get married. With prompts, space to write, and a framework for talking about the hard things before they become hard.

Free. No spam. One email when it’s ready.

Coming Q4 2027 · Free PDF · Expo registrants get it first

Most couples plan a wedding.
Few plan a marriage.

I've sat with dozens of engaged couples. The ones who struggle most in their first years aren't the ones who fought too much before the wedding. They're the ones who never had the honest conversations — about money, about family, about what they actually believe, about how they fight, about whether they can reach for each other when things fall apart.

The discomfort you feel doing these exercises is cheaper than the silence you'd feel in year three.

— Matt Headley, The Aisle

Before the Wedding

The Five Conversations

01

Family of Origin

  • —What did conflict look like in your home growing up?
  • —What's one thing your parents did well that you want to carry into your marriage?
  • —What's one pattern you watched in your family that you want to do differently?
02

Faith & Values

  • —How would you describe your faith right now — not what you were raised with, but where you actually are?
  • —What role do you want faith to play in your marriage?
  • —When something goes wrong — when you're grieving or failing — where do you go?
03

Finances

  • —What's your first memory of money? What did money mean in your family?
  • —Do you know what your partner earns, what they owe, and what they spend on things that matter to them?
  • —What does financial security feel like to you — the number, the feeling, the lifestyle?
04

Conflict

  • —When you're angry or hurt, what do you do — go quiet, go loud, or push for resolution?
  • —What does "making up" look like for you? How do you know a conflict is really resolved?
  • —Is there a topic you've avoided because you're afraid of the fight it would start?
05

Intimacy

  • —What makes you feel truly seen by your partner — not just liked, but known?
  • —What's one thing about yourself that you're afraid your partner might not accept if they really knew it?
  • —What does your partner do that makes you feel most loved? Have you told them?

The workbook is the beginning.

After you finish the five conversations, take the Tend Readiness Assessment — a free digital tool that surfaces patterns from your answers and points you toward the conversations worth going deeper on.

1

Read + write

Work through the five conversations. Answer alone first, then share.

2

Take the assessment

The free Tend Readiness Assessment maps your answers to five domains.

3

See your report

Your Couple Readiness Report shows where you're strong and where to dig in.

4

Find a Guide

If something bigger surfaces, connect with a certified premarital counselor through the Aisle Guide Network.

Built on the research. Written for real couples.

The five conversations map to two decades of marriage research — Sue Johnson’s attachment science, John Gottman’s conflict research, and the Prepare Enrich five-domain framework used by thousands of counselors. The questions are written plainly, without clinical language. They’re hard to answer because they’re supposed to be.

On your own

Use independently as a couple. No facilitator needed. Just you, your partner, and honest answers.

With a Guide

Bring your completed workbook to a premarital counselor or pastor. Start the sessions ready.

Become a certified Guide →|Premarital retreats →

Get it first.

The workbook is coming Q4 2027. Couples who register now get it before the public release — free, PDF, no catch.

Already registered for October 18? You’ll get the workbook automatically — and VIP registrants unlock Tend, our premarital companion, when she launches in 2027. Not registered yet? Register for October 18 →